English Utopia book 2 TRANSLATION APPROUVED

Voir le sujet précédent Voir le sujet suivant Aller en bas

English Utopia book 2 TRANSLATION APPROUVED

Message  el_ludo le Mar 7 Fév 2017 - 13:21

A read back, please

History
The exile
In this end of cycle 1097 spring, the king Mateus II attend, once again at the “Return Ceremony” where blessed bodies were absorbing by the sprawling roots of Beathacrann. Once again, this show disgusting him. He wish be able to avoid this slavery at his aristocracy as much as his bests soldiers . If he cannot say nothing to his seneschals, subdue at the Templar rule and a strict obedience at the sacred tree, he think, he can confide in his faithful support, the Baron Cemilhas. Only he will be help in the task for his far away barony, still preserve by the Beathacrann shoots.

However, the baron see a new proof of the baseness of his king and organize the uprising that he planned long time ago. The alliances, which the Baron believe to make, disappeared in front of the reality of the clash and the politic profit which each one hope to win. The rebellion carry on a moment but it crushed under the great walls of Kerkastel. The body of the baron dismembered and his tanned skin offered to the king.

All the barony archive destroyed, the name of the Baron erased of Acts and his weapons disappeared under the black Ecu of the Fallen Barony, the Templars guarantee this.
The baron family, his friends, his vassals, his allieds and all who can know the project of King Marteus are immediately ban overseas. It is a flotilla of 29 ships removing 843 persons, Men, Women and child, which move away from the port whereas the Kastel Kanam Citadel is under flames.
During the two cycles, which follow, the bans try to settle more or less clandestinely in the plenty of island at the extreme West of the old barony. Despite few faithful friends who try to hide the outlaw, the royal patrols hunt them merciless and their number decrease considerably.
At the end of cycle 1100 winter, the 487 survivors, under the pulse of Irma, a ban Templar officer, leave the Avalonian coast on ships which can again take the sea. They sail due West and let the winds and the currents guide them on this unexplored Ocean. During two [selenes] which follow, while they must face the thirst and the hunger and suffer again the death of the more weak with each other, they write an egalitarian constitution based on the sharing and name their flotilla UTOPIA of Irmao.
Tree cycles after their banishment, the Utopians set foot on a unknown Earth. Exhausted, starved, they grounded their ships on soft bottoms. Less of 300 survivors set foot on this island, confident after all in their future.

A Dream, a Remember
Easter distant lands, we left to travel the world. Always moving forward, we are going discover there where Thebus go to sleep
The ocean carried us
The ocean feeded us
The ocean comforted us
The ocean forgiven us
One Day, they snake will come and we welcome him like a lost brother who come back to his family
[Bokor] old lullaby


Dernière édition par el_ludo le Jeu 6 Avr 2017 - 14:42, édité 1 fois

el_ludo
HACHE-HACHE
HACHE-HACHE

Messages : 149
Date d'inscription : 10/09/2011

Voir le profil de l'utilisateur

Revenir en haut Aller en bas

Re: English Utopia book 2 TRANSLATION APPROUVED

Message  mallachain le Mer 22 Fév 2017 - 23:36

Suggestions in red.
Text I don't understand in green.

el_ludo a écrit:A read back, please

History
The exile
In the spring of 1097, King Mateus II once again attended the "Return Ceremony" where blessed bodies are absorbed by the sprawling roots of Beathacrann. Once again, the show disgusted him. He wished to be able to avoid the slavery of his of his nobles and his best soldiers. He can say nothing to his seneschals, subdued by the Templar rule and strict obedience to the sacred tree, but he thinks he can confide in his faithful supporter, the Baron Cemilhas. Only he can be of help in this task, for his remote barony still preserve by the Beathacrann shoots.

However, the Baron sees this as proof of the baseness of his king and organizes an uprising. The alliances, which the Baron seeks to make, disappear before the reality of the clash and the political profit each hopes to win. The rebellion lasts but a moment and is crushed at the great walls of Kerkastel. The Baron's skinned and dismembered body is offered to the king.

The barony is destroyed, the name of the Baron is erased and his weapons disappear under the black Ecu of the Fallen Barony, the Templars guarantee this.

The baron's family, friends, vassals and allies, all who know of King Marteus's project, are immediately exiled overseas. A flotilla of 29 ships, carrying 843 men, women and children, leaves the port while Kastel Kanam Citadel burns.

During the next two cycles, the exiles try to secretly settle in the islands at the extreme west of the old barony. Despite the few faithful friends who try to hide the outlaws, royal patrols mercilessly hunt them down and considerably lessen their numbers.

At the end of the winter of 1100, 487 survivors, under the leadership of Irma, an exiled Templar officer, leave the Avalonian coast on ships which again take to the sea. They sail due west and let the winds and currents guide them across the unexplored ocean. During the two [selenes] which follow, while facing thirst and hunger, watching the deaths of their weaker companions, they write an egalitarian constitution based on sharing and name their flotilla the UTOPIA of Irmao.

Three cycles after their banishment, the Utopians set foot on an unknown land. Exhausted and starved, they ground their ships on soft soil. Less than 300 survivors set foot on this island, confident after all in their future.



A Dream, a Memory
From distant Eastern lands, we left to travel the world. Always moving forward, we went to discover where Thebus goes to sleep
The ocean carried us
The ocean fed us
The ocean comforted us
The ocean forgave us
One Day, the snake will come and we welcome him like a lost brother who comes back to his family
[Bokor] old lullaby

mallachain
HACHE-HACHE
HACHE-HACHE

Messages : 182
Date d'inscription : 22/12/2014

Voir le profil de l'utilisateur

Revenir en haut Aller en bas

Re: English Utopia book 2 TRANSLATION APPROUVED

Message  el_ludo le Mer 22 Mar 2017 - 21:14

mallachain a écrit:Suggestions in red.
Text I don't understand in green.

el_ludo a écrit:A read back, please

History
The exile
In the spring of 1097, King Mateus II once again attended the "Return Ceremony" where blessed bodies are absorbed by the sprawling roots of Beathacrann. Once again, the show disgusted him. He wished to be able to avoid the slavery of his of his nobles and his best soldiers. He can say nothing to his seneschals, subdued by the Templar rule and strict obedience to the sacred tree, but he thinks he can confide in his faithful supporter, the Baron Cemilhas. Only he can be of help in this task, for his remote barony still preserve by the Beathacrann shoots.roots

However, the Baron sees this as proof of the baseness of his king and organizes an uprising. The alliances, which the Baron seeks to make, disappear before the reality of the clash and the political profit each hopes to win. The rebellion lasts but a moment and is crushed at the great walls of Kerkastel. The Baron's skinned and dismembered body is offered to the king.

The barony is destroyed, the name of the Baron is erased and his weapons disappear under the black Ecushield of the Fallen Barony, the Templars guarantee this.

The baron's family, friends, vassals and allies, all who know of King Marteus's project, are immediately exiled overseas. A flotilla of 29 ships, carrying 843 men, women and children, leaves the port while Kastel Kanam Citadel burns.

During the next two cycles, the exiles try to secretly settle in the islands at the extreme west of the old barony. Despite the few faithful friends who try to hide the outlaws, royal patrols mercilessly hunt them down and considerably lessen their numbers.

At the end of the winter of 1100, 487 survivors, under the leadership of Irma, an exiled Templar officer, leave the Avalonian coast on ships which again take to the sea. They sail due west and let the winds and currents guide them across the unexplored ocean. During the two [selenes] which follow, while facing thirst and hunger, watching the deaths of their weaker companions, they write an egalitarian constitution based on sharing and name their flotilla the UTOPIA of Irmao.

Three cycles after their banishment, the Utopians set foot on an unknown land. Exhausted and starved, they ground their ships on soft soil. Less than 300 survivors set foot on this island, confident after all in their future.



A Dream, a Memory
From distant Eastern lands, we left to travel the world. Always moving forward, we went to discover where Thebus goes to sleep
The ocean carried us
The ocean fed us
The ocean comforted us
The ocean forgave us
One Day, the snake will come and we welcome him like a lost brother who comes back to his family
[Bokor] old lullaby

in blue, my suggestions, what do you think ?

el_ludo
HACHE-HACHE
HACHE-HACHE

Messages : 149
Date d'inscription : 10/09/2011

Voir le profil de l'utilisateur

Revenir en haut Aller en bas

Re: English Utopia book 2 TRANSLATION APPROUVED

Message  mallachain le Lun 3 Avr 2017 - 22:05

Works for me.

mallachain
HACHE-HACHE
HACHE-HACHE

Messages : 182
Date d'inscription : 22/12/2014

Voir le profil de l'utilisateur

Revenir en haut Aller en bas

Re: English Utopia book 2 TRANSLATION APPROUVED

Message  el_ludo le Jeu 6 Avr 2017 - 14:34

TRANSLATION APPROUVED

History
The exile
In the spring of 1097, King Mateus II once again attended the "Return Ceremony" where blessed bodies are absorbed by the sprawling roots of Beathacrann. Once again, the show disgusted him. He wished to be able to avoid the slavery of his of his nobles and his best soldiers. He can say nothing to his seneschals, subdued by the Templar rule and strict obedience to the sacred tree, but he thinks he can confide in his faithful supporter, the Baron Cemilhas. Only he can be of help in this task, for his remote barony still preserve by the Beathacrann roots.

However, the Baron sees this as proof of the baseness of his king and organizes an uprising. The alliances, which the Baron seeks to make, disappear before the reality of the clash and the political profit each hopes to win. The rebellion lasts but a moment and is crushed at the great walls of Kerkastel. The Baron's skinned and dismembered body is offered to the king.

The barony is destroyed, the name of the Baron is erased and his weapons disappear under the black shield of the Fallen Barony, the Templars guarantee this.

The baron's family, friends, vassals and allies, all who know of King Marteus's project, are immediately exiled overseas. A flotilla of 29 ships, carrying 843 men, women and children, leaves the port while Kastel Kanam Citadel burns.

During the next two cycles, the exiles try to secretly settle in the islands at the extreme west of the old barony. Despite the few faithful friends who try to hide the outlaws, royal patrols mercilessly hunt them down and considerably lessen their numbers.

At the end of the winter of 1100, 487 survivors, under the leadership of Irma, an exiled Templar officer, leave the Avalonian coast on ships which again take to the sea. They sail due west and let the winds and currents guide them across the unexplored ocean. During the two [selenes] which follow, while facing thirst and hunger, watching the deaths of their weaker companions, they write an egalitarian constitution based on sharing and name their flotilla the UTOPIA of Irmao.

Three cycles after their banishment, the Utopians set foot on an unknown land. Exhausted and starved, they ground their ships on soft soil. Less than 300 survivors set foot on this island, confident after all in their future.


A Dream, a Memory
From distant Eastern lands, we left to travel the world. Always moving forward, we went to discover where Thebus goes to sleep
The ocean carried us
The ocean fed us
The ocean comforted us
The ocean forgave us
One Day, the snake will come and we welcome him like a lost brother who comes back to his family
Bokor old lullaby

el_ludo
HACHE-HACHE
HACHE-HACHE

Messages : 149
Date d'inscription : 10/09/2011

Voir le profil de l'utilisateur

Revenir en haut Aller en bas

Re: English Utopia book 2 TRANSLATION APPROUVED

Message  Contenu sponsorisé


Contenu sponsorisé


Revenir en haut Aller en bas

Voir le sujet précédent Voir le sujet suivant Revenir en haut


 
Permission de ce forum:
Vous ne pouvez pas répondre aux sujets dans ce forum