words for kickstarter video

Voir le sujet précédent Voir le sujet suivant Aller en bas

words for kickstarter video

Message  nicoleblond le Mar 18 Aoû 2015 - 23:55

For kickstarter project, we'll realize a video with sequential pictures, music, sounds and voice tells words below.

Could you verify that the texts are right?


Alkemy Blitz
Naashti - Utopia / 2 nations to skake Mornea

It was thought destroyed, exiled... No news of them...
Naashtis disappear during alchemical war.
Fatiha, sorority’s matriarch, sends her prophecy. The sun emerges is adopted as symbol of Republic Khaliman.
Beginning of the civil war in the province of Xidai. Creation of the Templar Order by Tao Chan Mon.
The Kingdom of Avalon proclaims himself king.
In the plains of Gigage Gadusi, the Triad signs a peace treaty with his opponents. A time of peace is established between peoples, but nothing will be as before.
Armed gangs patrol the territories but despite the trade, the fighting can not be avoided.
The western baron rebels against Marteus II of Avalon. A fleet of 29 boats away from the Kingdom of Avalon while the citadel of Kastel Kanan burns.
The nations come together to build the Canal de la Concorde.
Wandering in the ocean of Dreams, the Utopians approach their new home.
A spectacular escape takes place at the penitentiary of the Tooth.
Mornea nations face new internal problems.
During that time, Mornea nations continued to live by forgetting these 2 dates.
avatar
nicoleblond
Admin
Admin

Messages : 8935
Date d'inscription : 14/12/2010

Voir le profil de l'utilisateur

Revenir en haut Aller en bas

Re: words for kickstarter video

Message  mallachain le Mer 19 Aoû 2015 - 0:19

Here is how I would change it to make it read clearer:

Alkemy Blitz
Naashti - Utopia / 2 nations to shake Mornea

They are thought destroyed, exiled... No news of them...
Naashtis disappear during the alchemical war.
Fatiha, sorority’s matriarch, sends her prophecy. The sun emerges and is adopted as the symbol of the Khaliman Republic.
Civil war begins in the province of Xidai. Tao Chan Mon creates the Templar Order.
The Kingdom of Avalon proclaims itself king.
In the plains of Gigage Gadusi, the Triad signs a peace treaty with its opponents. A time of peace is established between the peoples, but nothing will be as before.
Armed gangs patrol the territories. Despite trade, fighting can not be avoided.
The western baron rebels against Marteus II of Avalon. A fleet of 29 boats sail away from the Kingdom of Avalon while the citadel of Kastel Kanan burns.
The nations unite to build the Canal de la Concorde.
Wandering in the ocean of Dreams, the Utopians approach their new home.
A spectacular escape takes place at the Penitentiary of the Tooth.
The nations of Mornea face new internal problems.
During this time, Mornea's nations continue to live by forgetting these 2 dates.

mallachain
HACHE-HACHE
HACHE-HACHE

Messages : 182
Date d'inscription : 22/12/2014

Voir le profil de l'utilisateur

Revenir en haut Aller en bas

Re: words for kickstarter video

Message  Vegabond le Mer 19 Aoû 2015 - 0:41

Without pics I can only guess at what you are trying to get across in some of these sentences, but here goes.

Alkemy Blitz
Naashti - Utopia / 2 nations to shake Mornea

It was thought destroyed, exiled... No news of them...
Naashtis disappeared during the alchemical war.
Fatiha, sorority’s matriarch, tells her prophecy. The emerging sun is adopted as the symbol of the Khaliman Republic.
Civil war breaks out in the province of Xidai. Tao Chan Mon creates of the Templar Order.
The Kingdom of Avalon proclaims a king.
In the plains of Gigage Gadusi, the Triad signs a peace treaty with the Aurlocks. A time of peace is established between peoples, but nothing will be as before.
Armed soldiers patrol the territories and despite trade, fighting can not be avoided.
The western baron rebels against Marteus II of Avalon. A fleet of 29 boats sail away from the Kingdom of Avalon while the citadel of Kastel Kanan burns.
The nations come together to build the Canal of the Concorde.
Wandering in the ocean of Dreams, the Utopians approach their new home.
A spectacular escape takes place at the Penitentiary of the Tooth.
Mornea's nations face new internal problems.
During this time, Mornea's nations continue to live by forgetting these 2 dates. (what 2 dates?)

Vegabond
HACHE-HACHE
HACHE-HACHE

Messages : 189
Date d'inscription : 23/12/2014

Voir le profil de l'utilisateur

Revenir en haut Aller en bas

Re: words for kickstarter video

Message  nicoleblond le Jeu 20 Aoû 2015 - 21:52

Thanks Very Happy

I think that I keep "opponents" in this sentence:
In the plains of Gigage Gadusi, the Triad signs a peace treaty with its opponents. A time of peace is established between the peoples, but nothing will be as before.

because Triad signed a peace treaty with Khaliman, Avalon and Aurlok.

For dates (783 and 1097), there will be a date to each screen.
783 - Naashtis disappeared during the alchemical war.
1097 - A fleet of 29 boats sail away from the Kingdom of Avalon while the citadel of Kastel Kanan burns.

and with this sentence: "During this time, Mornea's nations continue to live by forgetting these 2 dates."
We mention these 2 dates Very Happy
avatar
nicoleblond
Admin
Admin

Messages : 8935
Date d'inscription : 14/12/2010

Voir le profil de l'utilisateur

Revenir en haut Aller en bas

Re: words for kickstarter video

Message  Contenu sponsorisé


Contenu sponsorisé


Revenir en haut Aller en bas

Voir le sujet précédent Voir le sujet suivant Revenir en haut


 
Permission de ce forum:
Vous ne pouvez pas répondre aux sujets dans ce forum